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The following graph shows time spent on various activities in US office between year 1980 and 2000.

The following graph shows time spent on various activities in US office between year 1980 and 2000. eKnap
The Pie chart illustrate the comparison between time spent on US office on distinct activities from 1980 to 2000. Overall, a myopic look at the Graph makes it conspicious that in previous year people spent their time on phone and paper documents whereas which was dramatically declined in the later year. However, email was the new category on which people spent least time. It is evident from the chart that in 1980, phone and paper documents - were the major categories on which - people spent their time with nearly - one-third whereas the time spent on - same categories was reduced with a well-below one fifth in the later year. However In 1980, people spent - their time on face to face communication which was made up of over one-tenth which was similar in the year 2000. Adding more details, the time consume by people on other activities which were remained same in 2000. Moreover In 1980, people allocate their time on meetings which was accounted for one - fifth while there was a considerable decrease observed in the later year. Furthermore, People spent their time on computer which was Negligible in 1980. while after a decade there was substantial incline was obsersed. However email which newly added was category on which people spent their time with nealy one-tenth.
The Pie chart illustrate the comparison between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on US office on distinct activities from 1980 to 2000.
Overall
, a myopic look at the Graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
conspicious
that in previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on phone and paper documents whereas which was
dramatically
declined in the later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
However
, email was the new
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category
on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
least time.

It is evident from the chart that in 1980, phone and paper documents
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
were the major
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categories
on which
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-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
nearly
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-
one-third whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
categories
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
with a well-below one fifth in the later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
In 1980,
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on face to face
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
communication


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
was made
up of over one-tenth which was similar in the
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year
2000.

Adding more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the
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time
consume by
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people
on other activities which
were remained
same in 2000.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
In 1980,
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people
allocate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on meetings which
was accounted
for one
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
fifth while there was a considerable decrease observed in the later
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year
.
Furthermore
,
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People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computer which was Negligible in 1980.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
after a decade there was substantial incline was
Possible spelling mistake found.
obsersed
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
email which
newly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
nealy
one-tenth.
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IELTS academic The following graph shows time spent on various activities in US office between year 1980 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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