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To jibe I am going back in Romania and will have a final week for you and your final final tomorrow at noon

To jibe I am going back in Romania and will have a final week for you and your final final tomorrow at noon 0poYq
This bar graph represents the percentages of male and female high schoolers passing in 7 different subjects indicated by competency exams during the years of 2010 and 2011. Overall, it is obvious that girls performed significantly greater than boys in the majority of the subjects. However, the female passing percentage in geography is approximately 10 per cent less than the male one. Surprisingly, in foreign languages and mathematics, almost half of the students in both genders passed the competency exams. Focusing on female students, it is noticeable that the extremely highest passing percentage in computer science is the only one more than 50 per cent. In addition, it is around 50 per cent passing in foreign languages and mathematics. On the contrary, the passing percentages in geography, history, chemistry and physics are approximately 20, 26, 30 and 37 per cent respectively. Turning to male students, it is evident that the passing percentages in foreign languages and mathematics are almost as equivalent to female ones. Furthermore, computer science and physics passing percentages are about 42 and 35 per cent by the following. Whereas, the passing percentage in geography with 30. 4 per cent is the only statically greater than the female one.
This bar graph represents the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
high schoolers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
in 7
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects indicated by competency exams during the years of 2010 and 2011.

Overall
, it is obvious that girls performed
significantly
greater than boys in the majority of the subjects.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in geography is approximately 10 per cent less than the male one.
Surprisingly
, in foreign languages and mathematics, almost half of the students in both genders passed the competency exams.

Focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students, it is noticeable that the
extremely
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in computer science is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one more than 50 per cent.
In addition
, it is around 50 per cent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
in foreign languages and mathematics.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
in geography, history, chemistry and physics are approximately 20, 26, 30 and 37 per cent
respectively
.

Turning to male students, it is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
in foreign languages and mathematics are almost as equivalent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
ones.
Furthermore
, computer science and physics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
are about 42 and 35 per cent by the following.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in geography with 30. 4 per cent is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
statically
greater than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
one.
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IELTS academic To jibe I am going back in Romania and will have a final week for you and your final final tomorrow at noon

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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