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The following bar charts illustrate information about two kinds of Tv proframmes, which are watched by Australian men and women in different age groups

The following bar charts illustrate information about two kinds of Tv proframmes, which are watched by Australian men and women in different age groups d5N9p
The following bar charts illustrate information about two kinds of Tv proframmes, which are watched by Australian men and women in different age gropus. Overall, the female average, watched realities, overtake male’s proportion watching this kind of show. Contrary to game shows, that men outnumber women figures. Most of the people, who love spending their hours watching TV, aged 45 or more. Firstly, almost 70% of women watches reality shows, which is almost double than men’s rate to 35%. On the other hand, in sport shows the proportion of men was only 2% more than female’s percentage. The rates of Australians watching realities increases steadily from 16 to 45 years old. The smallest average of viewers was nearly 50% in ages between 16 and 24. The amounts were risen approximately to 70% in people, whose age is45 and more. As for game shows, there are fluctuations in viewers percentage. In spite the 50% of young people (16-24) love game shows, the numbers were dropped remarkably in older age group of people, aged 25-34 to 40%. The proportion was grown slightly in group of 35-44 years old by 3%. The average was gone up dramatically to almost 70% for viewers over the 45 years old.
The following bar charts illustrate information about two kinds of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
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proframmes
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Possible spelling mistake found.
gropus
.

Overall
, the female average,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
realities, overtake male’s proportion watching this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
. Contrary to game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
outnumber women figures. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
spending their hours watching TV, aged 45 or more.

Firstly
, almost 70% of women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, which is almost
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
rate to 35%.
On the other hand
, in sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% more than female’s percentage.

The rates of Australians watching realities increases
steadily
from 16 to 45 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. The smallest average of viewers was
nearly
50% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
between 16 and 24.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
amounts
were risen
approximately to 70% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is45 and more.

As for game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, there are fluctuations in viewers percentage. In spite the 50% of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(16-24)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, the numbers
were dropped
remarkably
in older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, aged 25-34 to 40%. The proportion
was grown
slightly
in group of 35-44 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
by 3%. The average
was gone
up
dramatically
to almost 70% for viewers over the 45 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
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IELTS academic The following bar charts illustrate information about two kinds of Tv proframmes, which are watched by Australian men and women in different age groups

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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