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The flowchart below compare three methods to recruit new employees.

The flowchart below compare three methods to recruit new employees. 96Xmw
The process chart compare the three ways of hiring new employees To begin with, the first way give advertisement within the company and prepare a shortlist to selected candidates then thay take interview and give job offer. The second ways also give advertisement but in the press then they make a shortlist of selected candidates. After that selected candidates first take interview and then exam. Passing candidates are selected to the job offer. Last method of external recruitment agency, it give advertisement in agency and company. After the advertisement make shortlist who presented to employer. Employer give interview as well as behalf of the interview they get a job offer. In conclusion, advertisement use in the all method but after that they have different steps to provide job.
The process chart compare the three ways of hiring new employees

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and prepare a shortlist to
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selected
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candidates
then
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
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job
offer. The second ways
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the press then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a shortlist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
. After that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
first
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
and then exam. Passing
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candidates
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selected
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer. Last method of external recruitment agency, it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in agency and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
shortlist who presented to employer. Employer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
as well
as behalf of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the all method
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
steps to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS academic The flowchart below compare three methods to recruit new employees.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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