Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The first line graph compares the percentage of households with three types of electrical machines including washing machine,refrigerator and vacuum cleaner during a period of 99 years from 1920 to 201

The first line graph compares the percentage of households with three types of electrical machines including washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner during a period of 99 years from 1920 to 201 m82lN
The first line graph compares the percentage of households with three types of electrical machines including washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner during a period of 99 years from 1920 to 2019. The second line graph shows how many hours people spent weekly. It is obvious that the percentage of households for all three types of electrical appliances accounted more and more and the time per family spent each week decreased as time passed. It means with the help of advanced household tools people improved the efficiency of cleaning house. In 1920, the most popular household machine was washing machine, accounting forty percent of all families followed by vacuum cleaner with 30 percent. But the number of apartments that equiped with refrigerator was nealy zero. However the number of owning a refrigerator took over vaccum cleaner just one year later, with under 55 percent, and merely a little lower than washing machine which took 65 percent. In the follwing years all the three types of machines increased overrall and the percentage of holding vacuum cleaner and refrigeraor achieved 100 percent in 2000 and stayed at that level all the time. While the percentage of using washing machine saw a small rise and reached under 75 percent in 2019. Also in 1920, the number of time each family spent weely doing house works was 50 hours that was the highest among the whole period. The number declined dramatically till 1960, 20 hours per week and the decreasing speed slowed down obviously later. In 2019 the time spent on doing cleaning was about 10 hours for each week.
The
first
line graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
with three types of electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
including washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, refrigerator and vacuum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaner
during a period of 99 years from 1920 to 2019. The second line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
weekly.

It is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
for all three types of electrical appliances accounted more and more and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
per family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
each week decreased as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passed. It means with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
tools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the efficiency of cleaning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

In 1920, the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
was washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, accounting forty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of all families followed by vacuum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaner
with 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of apartments that
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "equipped", the past tense form of the verb 'equip'?
equiped
with refrigerator was
Possible spelling mistake found.
nealy
zero.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of owning a refrigerator took over
Possible spelling mistake found.
vaccum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one year later, with under 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, and
merely
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
lower than washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
which took 65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
follwing
years all the three types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
increased
Possible spelling mistake found.
overrall
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of holding vacuum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaner
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
refrigeraor
achieved 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2000 and stayed at that level all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of using washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rise and reached under 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2019.

Also
in 1920, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
Possible spelling mistake found.
weely
doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
works was 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
that was the highest among the whole period. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
declined
dramatically
till 1960, 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week and the decreasing speed slowed down
obviously
later. In 2019 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going cleaning".
doing cleaning
was about 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for each week.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The first line graph compares the percentage of households with three types of electrical machines including washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner during a period of 99 years from 1920 to 201

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    consequences of school violence
    Many pieces of research have shown that school violence has specific impacts on students as well as their schools and societies. the victims will be both physically and mentally damaged. They will always be in an insecure state and avoid interaction at school, and their academic performances tend to...
  • 6.5band
    Sugar manufacture from sugar cane
    The diagram displays how sugar is manufactured from sugar cane. Overall, it is a linear process consisting of four main stages: farming, crushing, separating and drying. The first step is to grow sugar cane and it takes about 12 to 18 months for it to mature. After it has fully grown, it is harves...
  • 6band
    Trend of Graduates and Postgraduates after the course completion in UK 2008
    The two bar graphs shows the future plans of the UK students after completing their graduation or post graduation for 2008. Two graphs gives the valuable insights which helps universities, students and also goverment. In first chart, it is clear that most of the students go for the higher studies t...
  • 5.5band
    Describe an activity you like doing to keep healthy.
    Before entering college, I always tried to lead a healthy life by going to the gym as frequently as I can. Although now I am always snow under with deadlines and assignments, i still try to keep my body fit and stay in good shape. Therefore, i take up some 15 minute workouts on a daily basis. Little...
  • 5.5band
    Talk about a special holiday or trip.
    Well, to be honest, I am a travelholic and I have been to many places in my holiday. However, the most memorable vacation was the trip to Sa Pa, a famous tourist destination in Viet Nam. It was the last summer vacation when I visited this area. It is a remote town, located in northwest vietnam, so i...
  • 5band
    The Graph Below Shows The Average Number Of Vietnamese Students Studying In France, America And Russia Between 2000 And 2015
    In 2000, there was an average of 3. 5 million Vietnamese students studying in France, which was the highest, in comparison with only 1. 5 million counterparts in America and nearly 3 million in Russia. For the next five following years, the figure for Vietnamese students studying in France and Russi...





Get more results for topic:
  • The first line graph compares the percentage of households with three types of electrical machines including washing machine,refrigerator and vacuum cleaner during a period of 99 years from 1920 to 201