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consequences of school violence

consequences of school violence Owgqy
Many pieces of research have shown that school violence has specific impacts on students as well as their schools and societies. the victims will be both physically and mentally damaged. They will always be in an insecure state and avoid interaction at school, and their academic performances tend to decline. Moreover, those who are bullied at school may also suffer from depression, self-doubt, and anxiety which could lead to suicidal thoughts. pupils who cause the violence would receive some penalties from the school, be viewed as a threat to society, or even get prosecuted by the law. Concerning the schools, not only would their facilities be damaged but also their reputations are bound to be demolished during the event of school violence. Finally, if no effective measures are being applied, this kind of taboo would spread across the community and even a whole nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
pieces of research have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
violence has specific impacts on students
as well
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and societies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
victims will be both
physically
and mentally damaged. They will always be in an insecure state and avoid interaction at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and their academic performances tend to decline.
Moreover
, those who
are bullied
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may
also
suffer from depression, self-doubt, and anxiety which could lead to suicidal thoughts.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
pupils
who cause the violence would receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
penalties from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
be viewed
as a threat to society, or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
prosecuted by the law. Concerning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would their facilities
be damaged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their reputations
are bound
to
be demolished
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
violence.
Finally
, if no effective measures are
being applied
, this kind of taboo would spread across the community and even a whole nation.
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IELTS academic consequences of school violence

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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