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The first chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same countries in the same period.

The two charts illustrate the population, and birth and death rates respectively of England and Wales in the years 1700, 1800, 1900, and 2000. Population is represented in the units of millions and the rates of birth and death are given per 1000 people. Overall, the number of people living in these areas of the UK rose consistently throughout the given time period. On the other hand, the birth and death rates fluctuated with highest rates for both in 1800 as opposed to the lowest birth rate in 1700 and the same for death rate in 2000. Birth rate was always higher than death rate for the given years. The population of England and Wales was less than 10 million in 1700 and the birth and death rates were about 9 and 7 per 1000 respectively. Both the birth and death rates increased dramatically in 1800 to about 23 and 17 respectively, resulting in a considerable growth in population to over 15 million. Although both the rates fell to about half of the previous century in 1900 (birth and death rates of 13 and 8 million respectively), the population more than doubled to reach just less than 40 million. On the other hand, these values changed only slightly in 2000 with population climbing to around 49 million as compared to the birth and death rates reaching just over 10 and exactly 5 respectively.
The two charts illustrate the
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population
, and
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birth
and death
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rates
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respectively
of England and Wales in the years 1700, 1800, 1900, and 2000.
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Population
is represented
in the units of
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millions
and the
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rates
of
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birth
and death are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in these areas of the UK rose
consistently
throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.
On the other hand
, the
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birth
and death
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rates
fluctuated with
A determiner is probably missing here: “the highest”.
highest
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rates
for both in 1800 as opposed to the lowest
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birth
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rate
in 1700 and the same for death
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rate
in 2000.
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Birth
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rate
was always higher than death
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rate
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.

The
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population
of England and Wales was less than 10
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million
in 1700 and the
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birth
and death
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rates
were about 9 and 7 per 1000
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respectively
. Both the
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birth
and death
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rates
increased
dramatically
in 1800 to about 23 and 17
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respectively
, resulting in a considerable growth in
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population
to over 15 million.

Although both the
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rates
fell to about half of the previous century in 1900
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(birth
and death
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rates
of 13 and 8
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million
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respectively)
, the
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population
more than doubled to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
less than 40
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million
.
On the other hand
, these values
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changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
slightly
in 2000 with
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population
climbing to around 49
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million
as compared to the
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birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
reaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10 and exactly 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
.
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Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The first chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same countries in the same period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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