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the first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

the first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. 6xLKr
The two pie charts demonstare the using of energy in an average Australian household and emissions of greenhouse gas from thr usage of energy respectively. We can see in these diagrams, heating and water heating are required more vim relatively 42 and 30 percent. To compare greenhouse gas emissions which used in water heating is varied 2 percent. in the next positions, the energy spended on refrigeration (7%) and lighting ( a tiny fraction). For other appliances demanded 15 percent. The lowest energy used in cooling only cuple of percentage. The greenhouse gas emissions are discharged by heating (15%) and refrigeration (14%). Gas emissions of lighting and cooling are discharged lesser gas relatively 8 and 3 percent. To sum up, heating and water heating are requested more ennergy than other privations and greenhouse gas emissions are more gas discharged by water heating spended nearly one-third, another appliances and refrigeration 28 and 14 percent relatively.
The two pie charts
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demonstare
the using of
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energy
in an average Australian household and
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emissions
of
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greenhouse
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gas
from
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thr usage
of
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energy
respectively
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in these diagrams,
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heating
and
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water
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heating
are required
more vim
relatively
42 and 30
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percent
. To compare
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is varied
2
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percent
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
next
positions, the
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energy
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spended
on refrigeration (7%) and lighting
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(
a tiny fraction). For other appliances demanded 15
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percent
. The lowest
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in cooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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cuple
of percentage. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
are discharged
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
(15%) and refrigeration (14%).
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
of lighting and cooling
are discharged
lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
relatively
8 and 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
are requested
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
ennergy
than other privations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
discharged by
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spent", the past tense form of the verb 'spend'?
spended
nearly
one-third, another appliances and refrigeration 28 and 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
relatively
.

IELTS academic the first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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