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The first chart below show energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information.

The charts give information about the amount of energy is consumed and the proportion of greenhouse gas emits by a household on average in Australia. Overall, the most amount of consumption energy relates to the heating sector, whilst in terms of gas emission, it is the third cause in Australia. The distribution of gas emitting of water heating part has a significant volume. Regarding terms of Heating, water heating, and other appliances, after the heating sector using 42 percent of the proportion of energy, which is very considerable, the portion of energy using for water heating and other appliances in houses makes up 30% and 15% respectively. In contrast, the percentage of gas emission related to heating is only 15% compared to the other two major factors. The gas arise of water heating accounts for 32 %, as the greatest amount, and other appliances by 28%. Turning to other sectors, the lowest amount of energy is used cooling, 2% of the whole, followed by lighting and then refrigeration; While the proportion of gas emitted by refrigeration is remarkable and more than the sum of cooling and lighting, 14% in comparison with 11%.
The charts give information about the
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amount
of
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energy
is consumed
and the proportion of greenhouse
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gas
emits by a household on average in Australia.

Overall
, the most
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amount
of consumption
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energy
relates to the
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heating
sector, whilst in terms of
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gas
emission, it is the third cause in Australia. The distribution of
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gas
emitting of
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water
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heating
part has a significant volume.

Regarding terms of
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Heating
,
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
, and
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other
appliances, after the
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heating
sector using 42 percent of the proportion of
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energy
, which is
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very
considerable, the portion of
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energy
using for
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water
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heating
and
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other
appliances in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up 30% and 15%
respectively
.
In contrast
, the percentage of
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gas
emission related to
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heating
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% compared to the
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other
two major factors. The
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gas
arise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
accounts for 32 %, as the greatest
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amount
, and
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other
appliances by 28%.

Turning to
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other
sectors, the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cooling, 2% of the whole, followed by lighting and then refrigeration; While the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emitted by refrigeration is remarkable and more than the sum of cooling and lighting, 14%
in comparison
with 11%.

IELTS academic The first chart below show energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The first chart below show energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information.