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The charts below show one government's spending on culture and educataion in 1995 and 2005 and the number of people participating in arts events in the same years

The charts indicate information about one authority’s expenses on education and culture and the number of individuals joining in arts events from 1995 to 2005. It is noticeable that the government spends considerably more money on music. In terms of a line graph, strikingly, music and theatre were the most preferred arts events over the provided period. As regards, in 1995, the government expanded much more money on music and theatre, standing at half and a quarter. Although the figures for theatre increased to more than two-fifth, the music experienced a downward trend and reached the same proportion as a theatre, in the year of 2005. Interestingly, the literature showed by far the lowest proportion as opposed to visual arts. Turning to the bar chart, music is the most popular arts event among the people accounted for 120000 in 1995. After which, it registered moderate growth, approximately more than 140000. Correspondingly, literature experienced far fewer percentages than the theatre and visual arts.
The charts indicate information about one authority’s expenses on education and culture and the number of individuals joining in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
from 1995 to 2005.

It is noticeable that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends
considerably
more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In terms of a line graph,
strikingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theatre
were the most preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
over the provided period.

As regards, in 1995, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expanded much more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theatre
, standing at half and a quarter. Although the figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theatre
increased to more than two-fifth, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
experienced a downward trend and reached the same proportion as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theatre
, in the year of 2005.
Interestingly
, the literature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
by far the lowest proportion as opposed to visual arts.

Turning to the bar chart,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
accounted for 120000 in 1995. After which, it registered moderate growth, approximately more than 140000.
Correspondingly
, literature experienced far fewer percentages than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theatre
and visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.

IELTS academic The charts below show one government's spending on culture and educataion in 1995 and 2005 and the number of people participating in arts events in the same years

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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