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The diagrams illustrate the steps of how cement production process, and how to use cement to produce concrete for construction work.

The diagrams illustrate the steps of how cement production process, and how to use cement to produce concrete for construction work. Overall, it can be seen that the cement making process undergoes five stages and it can used for building purposes by three materials added with cement. Turning to the detail, first of all, crushing equal amount of limestone and clay to become powder. Then, mixing it in the cement’s mixer passing by rotating heater in high temperature. after that, grinds up the cement. The ending of the process, packaged into special bags. As for the production of concrete, mixing 15% of cement, 10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of gravel which is kind of small stone in concrete mixer. finally, the mixture is ready to used in construction purposes.
The diagrams illustrate the steps of how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production process, and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
to produce concrete for construction work.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
making process undergoes five stages and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for building purposes by three materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
with cement.

Turning to the detail,
first
of all, crushing equal amount of limestone and clay to become powder. Then, mixing it in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement’s
mixer passing by rotating heater in high temperature. after that, grinds up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. The ending of the process, packaged into special bags.

As for the production of concrete, mixing 15% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of gravel which is kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stone in concrete mixer.
finally
, the mixture is ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in construction purposes.

IELTS academic The diagrams illustrate the steps of how cement production process, and how to use cement to produce concrete for construction work.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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