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The diagrams below show two methods of collecting water for irrigation system

The diagrams below show two methods of collecting water for irrigation system E3R1b
The diagrams give information about how people collect water to irrigating fields in two ways by the help of traditional tools. Overall, both process are performed in a simple natural way by the power of people and animal without any electrical devices. First diagram is called Swing basket. In this process, water is taken a river about 1-2 metres of depth, near to the field. The tools which are used in this process include in a basket made of bamboo or leather like a box and long ropes. The basket need to be tied to the middle of the ropes. Then, two people held in each rope with their two hands in opposite destination. Lastly, the basket is filled with water and it is moved into irrigation channel. Next traditional method is Rope and bucket. It is differ from first process. Because the main work is done by strong animal like a cow. Water source is a well which has 50 metres of depth. Bucket can be tied to the ropes and connected to roller and pulley. Both ropes is combined to animal. When it walks on the slope the bucket is pulled to the top of the hell and water is poured to the irrigation channel.
The diagrams give information about how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
collect
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water
to irrigating fields in two ways by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of traditional tools.

Overall
, both
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process
are performed
in a simple natural way by the power of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and animal without any electrical devices.

First
diagram
is called
Swing
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basket
. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is taken
a river about 1-2
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
of depth, near to the field. The tools which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
include in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basket
made of bamboo or leather like a box and long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ropes
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basket
need to
be tied
to the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ropes
. Then, two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
held in each
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rope
with their two hands in opposite destination.
Lastly
, the
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basket
is filled
with
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water
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into irrigation channel.

Next
traditional method is
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Rope
and bucket. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
from
first
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process
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the main work
is done
by strong animal like a cow.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
source is a well which has 50
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
of depth. Bucket can
be tied
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ropes
and connected to roller and pulley. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ropes
You should probably use: "are".
is
combined to animal. When it walks on the slope the bucket
is pulled
to the top of the hell and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is poured
to the irrigation channel.

IELTS academic The diagrams below show two methods of collecting water for irrigation system

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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