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The diagrams below show the stages in the erosion of a headland

The diagrams below show the stages in the erosion of a headland qO3a
The given diagrams show the 4 picture which the gradual eroded of the rock. Overall it can be clearly seen that there are 4 main stages in the process which contribute to the with drawl of the headland. To start with, the water comes and hits, and a fragment of the weakest part of the rock is eroded. Then a small hole turns into a big hole. Therefore, the water hits again and the rock base collapses. Besides, the influx of water had a profound effect on the headland. Consequently the rock is completely tumbled. Finally, the recovery and subsidence and impact of the water cause great damage to the rock. But the other side of the rock is not damaged at all. In general, a small hole is formed in a large rock due to the impact of the water, and as a result of the rock impact the cliff collapsed fully
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagrams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the 4 picture which the gradual eroded of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
.
Overall
it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are 4 main stages in the process which contribute to the with drawl of the headland. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
and hits, and a fragment of the weakest part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
is eroded
. Then a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
hole turns into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hole.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
hits again and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
base collapses.
Besides
, the influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
had a profound effect on the headland.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
is completely tumbled.
Finally
, the recovery and subsidence and impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cause great damage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the other side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
is not damaged at all.
In general
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
hole
is formed
in a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
due to the impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, and
as a result
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
impact the cliff collapsed
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
fully

IELTS academic The diagrams below show the stages in the erosion of a headland

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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