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The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK in 2001 and 2008

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK in 2001 and 2008 VDLJ
The bar chart illustrates only five percentage of citizents ( who are british) are having fruits and vegetables everyday in the following 8 years from 2001 to 2008. Overall, the women having ratio was the highest over the whole period compared to men and children while children was the lowest. At the beginning of the period, the ratio of the women was just above 20% and than, it increased steadily to reached at the peak of approximately 40% in 2006. Meanwhile, this figure dropped-down slightly at the end of the period. On the other hand, men having ratio was the second position compared with women and children but after 2003, this figure followed the up-ward trend in the UK. Finally, the proportion of the children remained stable in 3 decades (2001 to 2003) and after that it rose gradually and followed the same trend of men.
The bar chart illustrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
five percentage of
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citizents
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
british
) are having fruits and vegetables
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
in the following 8 years from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
, the women having ratio was the highest over the whole period compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
was the lowest. At the beginning of the period, the ratio of the women was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 20% and
Did you mean "then"?
than
, it increased
steadily
to reached at the peak of approximately 40% in 2006. Meanwhile, this figure dropped-down
slightly
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
having ratio was the second position compared with women and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 2003, this figure followed the up-ward trend in the UK.
Finally
, the proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
remained stable in 3 decades (2001 to 2003) and after that it rose
gradually
and followed the same trend of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK in 2001 and 2008

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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