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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. ojnX
The diagrams illustrate stages and equipments to make cement and how cement is utilized in the production of concrete for construction. Looking an overall, the production of cement involves a five stages, that begins with the mixing of raw materials, and ends in the packaging of new cement bags. Moreover, cement and a few other simple ingredients are used to produce concrete through a single- stage procedure. In the first stage of manufacturing of cement, limestone and clay are crushed using a crusher to make a fine powder, which is then mixed in a mixer before being passed through a rotating heater. After that, the heated mixture transferred to a grinder using a conveyor belt. Subsequently, cement has been produced, and the process finishes with packaged and transported to building sites, where it can be used to make concrete. Regarding the second diagram, concrete is made up of 15% cement, 10% water, 25% sand and half gravel fed into a rotating concrete mixture to mix, and ready for construction.
The diagrams illustrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
and equipments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is utilized
in the production of concrete for construction.

Looking an
overall
, the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
involves a five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the mixing of raw materials, and ends in the packaging of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
bags.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and a few other simple ingredients are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce concrete through a single-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
procedure.

In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
of manufacturing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, limestone and clay
are crushed
using a crusher to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fine powder, which is then mixed in a mixer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being passed
through a rotating heater. After that, the heated mixture transferred to a grinder using a conveyor belt.
Subsequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
has
been produced
, and the process finishes with packaged and transported to building sites, where it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concrete.

Regarding the second diagram, concrete
is made
up of 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 10% water, 25% sand and half gravel fed into a rotating concrete mixture to mix, and ready for construction.
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IELTS academic The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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