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The table illustrates the salaries of high school teachers in 2009 in five different countries.

The table illustrates the salaries of high school teachers in 2009 in five different countries. pjnd
The table illustrates the salaries of high school teachers in 2009 in five different countries. The parameters it analyzes are: Salaries at the starting of their career, after 15 years of teaching and the maximum salary that teachers could reach. Furthermore, the table shows the number of years to reach the maximum salary. When teachers start their career Luxembourg offers the highest salary with 80, 000 followed by Denmark, Japan, Korea and with the lowest value Australia that gives merely 28, 000. It is essential to analyze the salary after 15 years, Luxembourg continues to be the countries with the highest salary with the value of 119, 000, no other countries reach similar value. While Australia that was the last when career's starting now after 15 years shows the same value of Korea 48, 000. For what to concerns the maximum of salary, the values increase for Luxembourg, Japan and Korea, on the contrary, values are the same for Australia and Denmark with 40, 00 and 54, 000. To reach the maximum salary in Australia and Denmark is possible in 9 years for the first and 8 years for the second. In Luxembourg, Japan and Korea, of course, the maximum salary is higher than Australia and Denmark but are necessary many years to reach it.
The table illustrates the
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salaries
of high school teachers in 2009 in five
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different
countries.

The parameters it analyzes are:
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Salaries
at the starting of their career, after 15 years of teaching and the maximum
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salary
that teachers could
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reach
.
Furthermore
, the table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the maximum salary.

When teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career Luxembourg offers the highest
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salary
with 80, 000 followed by Denmark, Japan, Korea and with the lowest
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value
Australia that gives
merely
28, 000.

It is essential to analyze the
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salary
after 15 years, Luxembourg continues to be the countries with the highest
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salary
with the
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value
of 119, 000, no other countries
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reach
similar
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value
. While Australia that was the last when career's starting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
after 15 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of Korea 48, 000.

For what to concerns the maximum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, the values increase for Luxembourg, Japan and Korea,
on the contrary
, values are the same for Australia and Denmark with 40, 00 and 54, 000.

To
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reach
the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
in Australia and Denmark is possible in 9 years for the
first
and 8 years for the second.

In Luxembourg, Japan and Korea,
of course
, the maximum
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salary
is higher than Australia and Denmark
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
it.
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IELTS academic The table illustrates the salaries of high school teachers in 2009 in five different countries.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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