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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. QL7kb
The illustrated processes indicate the phases and materials which are used in order to make cement. After that it shows how concrete is produced by cement, which was made before, for building. In overview, the cement process consists of five main stages and two materials, and the concrete process involves four different substances which are mixed by a mixer. Firstly, limestone and clay were crushed by crusher to convert to some powder. Afterward, they are mixed and transferred to a rotating heater. The resulted substance is heated and then the grinder is used in order to make the cement. Finally, the produced cement is gathered and kept in some bags. Secondly, it is desired to produce concrete. The produced cement, water, sand, and gravel are needed to make concrete. The quantities of each material should be considered before mixing them up. In the concrete mixer should add 10 percent of water, 15 percent of cement, 25 percent of sand, and half of it belongs to small stones (gravel). If these materials mix correctly, concrete will be produced.
The illustrated processes indicate the phases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. After that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how concrete is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, which
was made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, for building. In overview, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
process consists of five main stages and two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
, and the concrete process involves four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
substances which
are mixed
by a mixer.

Firstly
, limestone and clay
were crushed
by crusher to convert to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
powder. Afterward, they
are mixed
and transferred to a rotating heater. The resulted substance
is heated
and then the grinder is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is gathered
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bags.

Secondly
, it
is desired
to produce concrete. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, water, sand, and gravel
are needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concrete. The quantities of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
should
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
mixing them up. In the concrete mixer should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
10 percent of water, 15 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 25 percent of sand, and half of it belongs to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones (gravel). If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
mix
correctly
, concrete will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
.
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IELTS academic The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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