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As we can see that the pie-chart Illustrates major six languages (French, Spanish, Italian, German, Russian) opted by the students in two different years (2009-2014) for UK.

As we can see that the pie-chart Illustrates major six languages (French, Spanish, Italian, German, Russian) opted by the students in two different years (2009-2014) for UK. 3a5NJ
As we can see that the pie-chart Illustrates major six languages (French, Spanish, Italian, German, Russian) opted by the students in two different years (2009-2014) for UK. In, 2009 at the very first glance it is clear that the young crowd was more interested in learning French, also it is noticed that the students were least involved in the Russian language as compared to the other languages (Spanish, Italian, German). On the other hand, in 2014 it is visible that the student’s selection for languages namely Spanish, Italian has rose from 16% to 24% and 20% to 24% respectively. In general, while the craze for learning French is declined by 9%. However, German and Russian languages still hold less attention of the students at 10% and 8% in the second year. To sum up, the graph of both years gave a transparent picture that the students were more captivated by French, Spanish and Italian languages beside other languages. It is also worth to observe that it seems they made their preferences according to the (common) usage of languages to communicate around.
As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the pie-chart Illustrates major six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
(French, Spanish, Italian, German, Russian) opted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years (2009-2014) for UK.

In, 2009 at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
glance it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the young crowd was more interested in learning French,
also
it
is noticed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were least involved in the Russian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as compared to the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
(Spanish, Italian, German).

On the other hand
, in 2014 it is visible that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
selection for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
namely
Spanish, Italian has
Use the past participle "risen" after the modal (auxiliary) verb 'has'.
rose
from 16% to 24% and 20% to 24%
respectively
.
In general
, while the craze for learning French
is declined
by 9%.
However
, German and Russian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
still
hold less attention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at 10% and 8% in the second year.

To sum up, the graph of both years gave a transparent picture that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were more captivated by French, Spanish and Italian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
beside other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. It is
also
worth to observe that it seems they made their preferences according to the (common) usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to communicate around.
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IELTS academic As we can see that the pie-chart Illustrates major six languages (French, Spanish, Italian, German, Russian) opted by the students in two different years (2009-2014) for UK.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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