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The diagram shows two ways of using the energy from ocean waves to generate electricity.

The diagram shows two ways of using the energy from ocean waves to generate electricity. 3YlKb
The diagram gives a illustration about two different ways to extract energy from ocean waves to collect electricity. The first method uses a pump system to generate electricity. The second one makes electricity with the help of an airflow that is caused by waves. The first method makes use of the swell. The swell causes that a floating device goes up and down. This is connected to the piston, that pump the water out of the ocean up to a storage tank, via a intake pipe. This pipe has a valve system, so that the water can only go in one direction. From the storage tank the water drops down back in the ocean, with the help of gravity and during the dropdown it windup a turbine. This turbine is connected to the generator, that makes electricity. With the second method the turbine is turned on by an airflow. This is done with the help of te waves, that pump air in and out of a cabin. This creates an airflow in the next room that turns on the turbine an with that the genrator to make electricity. Overall, both methods use a turbine that is connected to a generator to make electricity. However by the first method the turbine is turned on by a water flow and the second method by airflow.
The diagram gives
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a
illustration about two
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different
ways to extract energy from ocean waves to collect
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electricity
. The
first
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method
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uses
a pump system to generate
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electricity
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second one
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makes
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electricity
with the
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help
of an
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airflow
that
is caused
by waves.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
first
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method
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makes
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use
of the swell.
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The
swell causes that a floating device goes up and down. This
is connected
to the piston, that pump the
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water
out of the ocean up to a storage tank, via
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a
intake pipe. This pipe has a valve system,
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so
that the
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water
can
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only
go in one direction. From the storage tank the
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water
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drops".
drops down
back in the ocean, with the
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help
of gravity and during the dropdown
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it
windup a
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turbine
. This
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turbine
is connected
to the generator, that
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makes
electricity.

With the second
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method
the
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turbine
is turned
on by an
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airflow
. This
is done
with the
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help
of
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te
waves, that pump air in and out of a cabin. This creates an
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airflow
in the
next
room that turns on the
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turbine
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an
with that the
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genrator
to
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make
electricity.

Overall
, both
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methods
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use
a
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turbine
that
is connected
to a generator to
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make
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electricity
.
However
by the
first
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method
the
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turbine
is turned
on by a
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water
flow and the second
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method
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airflow
.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows two ways of using the energy from ocean waves to generate electricity.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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