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The diagram shows the steps of producing bricks for the building industry .

The diagram shows the steps of producing bricks for the building industry. 737nX
First of all, the first step the diagram the digger is used in order to manufacture bricks. The second step, this clay is used in order to produced bricks for filtered and then mixed with sand and water. The third step, the finishing mould is followed by cutting with a wire cutter. The next stage, bricks are placed in a drying oven during 24-48 hours. The fifth stage, dried bricks are put in cooling chamber, it may take a about 2days. Finally, packaging bricks is followed by delivering them to construction areas. Overall, . Producing bricks commences with digging clay and ends with delivering. It involves 7 main steps and 4 different objects and it may take about 2days.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
the diagram the digger is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to manufacture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, this clay is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
for filtered and then mixed with sand and water. The third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, the finishing
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
is followed
by cutting with a wire cutter.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
next
stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are placed
in a drying oven during 24-48 hours.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
fifth stage, dried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are put
in cooling chamber, it may take
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
about 2days.
Finally
, packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
is followed
by delivering them to construction areas.
Overall
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
commences with digging clay and ends with delivering. It involves 7 main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
and 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
objects and it may take about 2days.

IELTS academic The diagram shows the steps of producing bricks for the building industry.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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