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The diagram shows the change that took place in Queen Mary hospital in 1960.

The diagram shows the change that took place in Queen Mary hospital in 1960. BMYQV
The maps illustrate the various transformation that happened at Queen Mary Hospital between 1960 and 2000. Overall, there was a transformation and erection of buildings at the given period. At the beginning of the period, there were four establishments which is the shopping center, Hospital, farmland, and car park. However, after 20 years, the shopping center was demolished for the erection of a cancer center with a pharmacy despite the hospital and car park being untouched. Consequently, in 2000, the main road was affected in size due to the expansion of cancer center in the space of nursing school whereas the nursing school was built after the car park was lessened in size to accommodate the nursing school. On the contrary, the main hospital building remained untouched after 40 years.
The maps illustrate the various transformation that happened at Queen Mary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
between 1960 and 2000.

Overall
, there was a transformation and erection of buildings at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

At the beginning of the period, there were four establishments which is the shopping center,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
, farmland, and car park.
However
, after 20 years, the shopping center
was demolished
for the erection of a cancer center with a pharmacy despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
and car park
being untouched
.

Consequently
, in 2000, the main road was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in size due to the expansion of cancer center in the space of nursing school whereas the nursing school
was built
after the car park
was lessened
in size to accommodate the nursing school.
On the contrary
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
building remained untouched after 40 years.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the change that took place in Queen Mary hospital in 1960.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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