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The graph below shows cinema attendance by age in Great Britain.

The graph below shows cinema attendance by age in Great Britain. k5bp2
The provided line graph elucidates in Great Britain visiting theatre by various age group; namely- 15-24, 7-14, 35-35, 35 and over. A comparison has been made between 1984 to 2003. The data has been calibrated in percentage, Overall, a quick glance at the chart reveals that, all age group were fluctuating more than 35 and over age group additionally it is worth noticing that these was ground scraping in given period. To embark upon, 35 and over age people visited merely 1% in 1984 later year by year it is increased by 2 to 3% till the 2003 with minor variation, at the end it might be reached around 20%. Apart from it, 15-24 age group individuals are enjoyed cinema 19% in 1984 then it sky-rocketed, reaching at doubble (40%) in 1991. Then, it found that ups and downs till the 2003 and arrived at 70%. First and foremost, differences between two other age group is minor in hole study former was 10% and latter was half (5%) in 1984. Secondly it was going ups and downs both reached 20% in 1992. Last but not the least, it was again augmented touching at 40 and 30% respectively. Leter both have find fluctuation at the end reached at 40% and barely 1%less in order to.
The provided line graph elucidates in Great Britain visiting
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
by various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
;
namely
- 15-24, 7-14, 35-35, 35 and over. A comparison has
been made
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1984 and 2003".
between 1984 to 2003
. The data has
been calibrated
in percentage,

Overall
, a quick glance at the chart reveals that, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
were fluctuating more than 35 and over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
additionally
it is worth noticing that these
was ground
scraping in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

To embark upon, 35 and over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited
merely
1% in 1984 later year by year it
is increased
by 2 to 3% till the 2003 with minor variation, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it might
be reached
around 20%. Apart from it, 15-24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
individuals
are enjoyed
cinema 19% in 1984 then it sky-rocketed, reaching at
Possible spelling mistake found.
doubble
(40%) in 1991. Then, it found that ups and downs till the 2003 and arrived at 70%.

First
and foremost, differences between two other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is minor in hole study former was 10% and latter was half (5%) in 1984.
Secondly
it was going ups and downs both reached 20% in 1992. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, it was again augmented touching at 40 and 30%
respectively
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leter
both have find fluctuation at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
reached at 40% and
barely
1%less in order to.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows cinema attendance by age in Great Britain.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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