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The diagram shows how the oil is refined and supplied to refineries and it’s different users.

The diagram shows how the oil is refined and supplied to refineries and it’s different users. 0awlG
The given diagram depicts the refining process of oil, along with the use of oil as a fuel for cars, planes and ships. Overall, the process starts with obtaining the ocean oil and ends at the distillation tower which separates the oil; Going through six stages. Also, the process is non-Sai click, and further bifurcates into three different stages. To begin with, the ocean oil is stored in storage tanks and are transported to the oil refinery. From here the oil gets converted to petrol and sent to petrol stations, and is transported as kerosene to the airport. Similarly, it is converted to a fuel and is used for ships and port. Additionally, the distillation process follows after the refining of iron firstly, the crude oil is passed through a steam furnace at 600° celsius and then passed through decreasing temperatures where the oil condenses and so its use varies. At 450°C it is used as a fuel for boats at 200°C as kerosene for planes and at 60°C as petrol for cars.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram depicts the refining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of
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oil
, along with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
as a fuel for cars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
and ships.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with obtaining the ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and ends at the distillation tower which separates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
; Going through six stages.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
non-Sai
click, and
further
bifurcates into three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is stored
in storage tanks and
are transported
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
refinery. From here the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
converted to petrol and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to petrol stations, and
is transported
as kerosene to the airport.
Similarly
, it
is converted
to a fuel and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for ships and port.

Additionally
, the distillation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
follows after the refining of iron
firstly
, the crude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is passed
through a steam furnace at 600°
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
and then passed through decreasing temperatures where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
condenses and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
varies. At
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "450 °C"
450°C
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a fuel for boats at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "200 °C"
200°C
as kerosene for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
and at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "60 °C"
60°C
as petrol for cars.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows how the oil is refined and supplied to refineries and it’s different users.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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