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The diagram shows about the construction of small village into a tourist place from 2000-2015.

The diagram shows about the construction of small village into a tourist place from 2000-2015. aEyJ9
The diagram illustrates about the evolution of a little coastal town and it's surrounding environment which changes into an attractive tourist place. Overall, it is the establishment of small village into a resort. As earlier in 2000 the village has 40000 population which surge high in 2015 about 80000 in number out of which 10000 were tourists. Furthermore, there is construction of school in 2015. Moreover the farmland which contains fruits and vegetables and forest park is converted into a sports place like Golf, Tennis and Swimming pool. However, there is no changes in housing, Hotel and Sea. On the other hand, fish market of village is now no more there that place is transform into a Holiday apartments for accomodation of public. Also the resort has cafe and restaurant makeover by replacing the fishing harbour. Finally, there is beach overthere which allure the individuals.
The diagram illustrates about the evolution of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
coastal town and it's surrounding environment which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
into an attractive tourist place.
Overall
, it is the establishment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village into a resort.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
earlier in 2000 the village has 40000 population which surge high in 2015 about 80000 in number out of which 10000 were tourists.
Furthermore
, there is construction of school in 2015.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the farmland which contains fruits and vegetables and forest park
is converted
into a sports place like Golf, Tennis and Swimming pool.
However
, there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in housing, Hotel and Sea.
On the other hand
, fish market of village is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
no more there that place is transform into a Holiday apartments for
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
of public.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the resort has
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and restaurant makeover by replacing the fishing
Possible spelling mistake. 'harbour' is British English.
harbour
.
Finally
, there is beach
Possible spelling mistake found.
overthere
which allure the individuals.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows about the construction of small village into a tourist place from 2000-2015.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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