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The diagram showa how rain water is collected for the use of drinking water I'm Australian town

The diagram illustrate the collection of rainwater for the purpose of drinking in an Australian town. Overall, The rainwater is collected and drain into a gutter which undergoes different process before it is ready for consumption. Initially, The rain drop on the rooftop and then drain into the gutter and it runs down through a pipe at the aisle of the house. Each house collect water the same way and the rain water passes through the underground pipe to the water filter. The rain water ia been filter to remove any impurities and then it goes through the pipe into the storage tank further into water treatment, to be treated with chemicals in order to make it fit and ready for consumption. When the water is ready for drinking it goes through the pipe back into the houses for people daily consumption.
The diagram
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the collection of rainwater for the purpose of drinking in an Australian town.

Overall
, The rainwater
is collected
and drain into a gutter which undergoes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is ready for consumption.

Initially
, The rain drop on the rooftop and then drain into the gutter and it runs down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pipe
at the aisle of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
the same way and the rain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
passes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pipe
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
filter.

The rain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Possible spelling mistake found.
ia
been filter to remove any impurities and then it goes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pipe
into the storage tank
further
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
treatment, to
be treated
with chemicals in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it fit and ready for consumption. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is ready for drinking it goes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pipe
back into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
daily consumption.

IELTS academic The diagram showa how rain water is collected for the use of drinking water I'm Australian town

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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