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The diagram says about the changes of a small village to a tourist place.

The diagram says about the changes of a small village to a tourist place. 06WM3
This pictorial illustrations indicates the growth of a small coastal village andits neighbouring region into a tourist place. Overall, we can see some differences in both diagrams where some progress occurs in tourist destination and some are common in both maps such as Housing, Hotel and Sea respectively. There is a dramatically changes between year of 2000 to 2015 from village to an attractive tourist place from 40000 population to 80000 total population consecutively. Firstly, there is an area of Housing which we can seen but as evolvement occurs three more houses are built in year 2015. Furthermore, Farmland and forest area is changed to a sports area where different sports are played moreover they add car parking in 2015 besides a Hotel. Secondly. the change is in fish market to holiday apparttments which is one of the attractive development for tourists whereas Boats were deducted in tourist region. Thirdly, Fishing harbour- a consumption area of fishes is replaced by Private beach and Cafe and Restaurant areas.
This pictorial illustrations
You should probably use "indicate".
indicates
the growth of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
coastal village
Possible spelling mistake found.
andits
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
region into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
place.
Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences in both diagrams where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
progress occurs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destination and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are common in both maps such as Housing, Hotel and Sea
respectively
. There is a
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
between year of 2000 to 2015 from village to an attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
place from 40000 population to 80000 total population
consecutively
.
Firstly
, there is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of Housing which we can
Did you mean "see" or "be seen"?
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
evolvement
occurs three more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are built
in year 2015.
Furthermore
, Farmland and forest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to a sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sports
are played
moreover
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
car parking in 2015
besides
a Hotel.
Secondly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is in fish market to holiday
Possible spelling mistake found.
apparttments
which is one of the attractive development for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
whereas Boats
were deducted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
region.
Thirdly
, Fishing
Possible spelling mistake. 'harbour' is British English.
harbour
- a consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of fishes
is replaced
by Private beach and
'Cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
Cafe
and Restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
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IELTS academic The diagram says about the changes of a small village to a tourist place.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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