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The diagram presents information about the production of electricity by using a geothermal energy.

The diagram presents information about the production of electricity by using a geothermal energy. NyBAy
The diagram presents information about the production of electricity by using a geothermal energy. Generally, there are five steps such as collecting source, injection process, heat production, condensation, and distribution. Following this, firstly, cold water as a main source of geothermal power plant located in at the surface. Next, the drill made a hole for 4. 5km below the surface to put a water pump. Then, the cold water pumped down to an injection well. At this point, the well located in geothermal zone (hot rocks) around 4. 5 to 5 km below the surface. Hence it produced a hot water. After that, the water flew to the production well as a dam before it pumped to condenser. After the hot water pumped to the condenser, that produced a steam. Eventually, the heat steam from condenser generated a turbine to produces an electricity and it distributed by a generator to an electricity line.
The diagram presents information about the production of electricity by using a geothermal energy.

Generally
, there are five steps such as collecting source, injection process, heat production, condensation, and distribution.

Following this,
firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
as a main source of geothermal power plant located in at the surface.
Next
, the drill made a hole for 4.
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "5 km"
5km
below the surface to put a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pump. Then, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pumped down to an injection well. At this point, the well located in geothermal zone (hot rocks) around 4. 5 to 5 km below the surface.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it produced a hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
flew to the production well as a dam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it pumped to condenser. After the hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pumped to the condenser, that produced a steam.

Eventually
, the heat steam from condenser generated a turbine to produces an electricity and it distributed by a generator to an electricity line.
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IELTS academic The diagram presents information about the production of electricity by using a geothermal energy.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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