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The diagram illustrates the working of a hot air balloon.

The diagram illustrates the working of a hot air balloon. KlMJM
The diagram illustrates the working of a hot air balloon. Overall, it is clear that the envelope is the largest part of the total area. In addition, the diagram indicates that propane is the fuel that is used to make the hot air. At the base of the hot air balloon, a propane cylinder is located in the basket. The propane then mixes with air in the burner, producing a flame to heat the air. Next, the hot air rises inside the envelope, causing the balloon to rise from the ground because the hot air is lighter than the cool air in the surrounding atmosphere. Ropes are shown securing the basket section to the skirt of the envelope. Alternatively, from the skirt at the base of the envelope, gores and panels also form part of the envelope section. Moreover, a parachute valve at the top of the envelope is a self-sealing flap. This allows the pilot of the balloon to control the rate at which the hot air can escape.
The diagram illustrates the working of a hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
balloon.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
envelope
is the largest part of the total area.
In addition
, the diagram indicates that propane is the fuel
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the hot air.

At the base of the hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
balloon, a propane cylinder
is located
in the basket. The propane then mixes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
in the burner, producing a flame to heat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
Next
, the hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
rises inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
envelope
, causing the balloon to rise from the ground
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
is lighter than the cool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
in the surrounding atmosphere. Ropes
are shown
securing the basket section to the skirt of the envelope.

Alternatively
, from the skirt at the base of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
envelope
, gores and panels
also
form part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
envelope
section.
Moreover
, a parachute valve at the top of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
envelope
is a self-sealing flap. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the pilot of the balloon to control the rate at which the hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
can escape.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the working of a hot air balloon.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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