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The bar chart illustrates the amount of phone sales all over the World from five various models, namely Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG, and ZTE in three years: 2009, 2011, and 2013.

The bar chart illustrates the amount of phone sales all over the World from five various models, namely Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG, and ZTE in three years: 2009, 2011, and 2013. albyG
The bar chart illustrates the amount of phone sales all over the World from five various models, namely Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG, and ZTE in three years: 2009, 2011, and 2013. Overall, Samsung and Nokia made up the bulk of the globe's phone sales, whereas Apple, LG, and ZTE were responsible for a far less percentage. In 2009 and 2011, Nokia was the majority of phone sales, each accounting for just under 400, on the other hand, Samsung witnessed a dramatic increase, with the figures growing from about 225 to 325. By 2013, Samsung had reached the highest point of 450; however, Nokia had lost its place to become 250. Turning to Apple, ZTE, and LG, the former and the latter were the positive trends, it could not be said for ZTE. Apple and ZTE rose to become 150 and 55, respectively, in contrast, the contribution from LG had shrunk by one second to become 55.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of phone sales all over the World from five various models,
namely
Samsung,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
, Nokia, LG, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
in three years: 2009, 2011, and 2013.

Overall
, Samsung and Nokia made up the bulk of the globe's phone sales, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
, LG, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
were responsible for a far less percentage.

In 2009 and 2011, Nokia was the majority of phone sales, each accounting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 400,
on the other hand
, Samsung witnessed a dramatic increase, with the figures growing from about 225 to 325. By 2013, Samsung had reached the highest point of 450;
however
, Nokia had lost its place to become 250.

Turning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
, and LG, the former and the latter were the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trends, it could not
be said
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
rose to become 150 and 55,
respectively
,
in contrast
, the contribution from LG had shrunk by one second to become 55.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the amount of phone sales all over the World from five various models, namely Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG, and ZTE in three years: 2009, 2011, and 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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