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The diagram illustrates the process of recycling used cans

The diagram illustrates the process of recycling used cans 7aAlA
Given is a flow-chart that illustrates the process of recycling used cans. There are a number of stages to the process, beginning with collecting used cans and ending with sending recycled cans to sell. First of all, used cans are collected by special transports in order to deliver them to the works which are specialized to clean, sort, shred and compress these collected cans. Then, the next stage is heating and melting them to make 2. 5 mm - 6 mm thick ribbons. After that, the ribbons can be rolled and made aluminium cans. Finally, after some stages such as labelling, they are sent to customers to use.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
is a flow-chart that illustrates the process of recycling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
. There are a number of stages to the process, beginning with collecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
and ending with sending recycled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
to sell.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are collected
by special transports in order to deliver them to the works which
are specialized
to clean, sort, shred and compress these collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
. Then, the
next
stage is heating and melting them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
2. 5 mm
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
6 mm thick ribbons. After that, the ribbons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
be rolled
and made
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
.
Finally
, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stages such as labelling, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the process of recycling used cans

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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