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The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey.

The illustration presents honey's process by bees. This process is divided into seven steps. The first one, begin with bees living a empty hives. After that, in step 2, the bees fly until to find flowers. When they find it, bees carry in nectar to produce honey, during number three. In number four, they return to the hive and they refill the empty cells with the nectar. Fifth, with the movement of bee's wings is produced air on the cells. Number 6, the process continues with water evaporation until the cell is completely dry. Finally, after 6 previous steps, the honey is ready to be collected by people. During the process, highlight the importance of the hive. This container is present in 5 steps. In the number 1, 2 and 3, it is important that bees move until find flowers to collect polen to produce the honey. In the step 5 and 6, the process is development by physical phenomenon, such as air movement and water evaporation. And the last one is necessary the human intervention to take out the honey from the hives and to be bring in until our homes.
The illustration presents honey's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
by bees. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is divided
into seven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
. The
first
one,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with bees living
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
empty hives. After that, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
2, the bees
fly
until to find flowers. When they find it, bees carry in nectar to produce honey, during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
three. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
four, they return to the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hive and
they refill the empty cells with the nectar. Fifth, with the movement of bee's wings
is produced
air on the cells.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Number
6, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
continues with water evaporation until the cell is completely dry.
Finally
, after 6 previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
, the honey is ready to
be collected
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, highlight the importance of the hive. This container is present in 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
1, 2 and 3, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that bees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
until find flowers to collect
Possible spelling mistake found.
polen
to produce the honey. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
5 and 6, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is development by physical phenomenon, such as air movement and water evaporation. And the last one is necessary the human intervention to take out the honey from the hives and to be
The past participle is required after “to be”.
bring
in until our homes.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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