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The diagram displays the evolution involving an aeroplane from its early days of the first powered flight of 1903 until 2004.

The diagram displays the evolution involving an aeroplane from its early days of the first powered flight of 1903 until 2004. There was a significant change in the number of passengers in the aeroplane from 1903 to 1935. At first, in 1903, the Wright flyer could only be ridden by one pilot. By 1935, the Douglas DC-3 was able to bring 3 crew and 28 passengers. In order to accommodate the larger number of passengers, the wingspan of Douglas DC-3 had increased to 12 m in 1935 compared to the Wright flyers which had 8 m of wingspan. Eventually, the propeller in 1903 had converted into jet engines. As a result, the speed of the aeroplane had increased from 16 km/h to 347 km/h. By 2004, major parts of the plane had undergone an upgrade. In comparison to the model of the Airbus A380, the Douglas DC-3 was only able to accommodate a small number of 3 crew and 28 passengers but the A380 can carry up to a massive 555 passengers. Consequently, DC-3 is miniscule when differentiating it with the A380 through a number of size features such as length and wingspan. The length of the A380 had more than three-fold the length of its predecessor with 73 m and 20 m respectively and the wingspan is similar by magnitude as the DC-3 had a wingspan of 29 m meanwhile the newest model had 80 m. Consequently, the engines had gone through a process of development as the propeller engine of 1935 had developed into jet turbines, which explains the difference in speed as the DC-3 was only able to go up to 347 km/h but the A380 reached the speed of 1050 km/h. Overall, the 3 planes from different time eras had shown how progressive the the modern aeroplane has become since its early days. However, there are still some features that had remained the same until now, namely the science behind the flight of an aeroplane and the need for a pilot to maneuver the plane.
The diagram displays the evolution involving an
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
from its early days of the
first
powered flight of 1903 until 2004.

There was a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
from 1903 to 1935. At
first
, in 1903, the Wright flyer could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be ridden
by one pilot. By 1935, the Douglas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DC-3
was able to bring 3 crew and 28
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
. In order to accommodate the larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
, the wingspan of Douglas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DC-3
had increased to 12 m in 1935 compared to the Wright flyers which had 8 m of wingspan.
Eventually
, the propeller in 1903 had converted into jet engines.
As a result
, the speed of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
had increased from 16 km/h to 347 km/h.

By 2004, major parts of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
had undergone an upgrade.
In comparison
to the model of the Airbus A380, the Douglas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DC-3
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to accommodate a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of 3 crew and 28
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the A380 can carry up to a massive 555
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DC-3
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
miniscule
when differentiating it with the A380 through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of size features such as length and wingspan. The length of the A380 had more than three-fold the length of its predecessor with 73 m and 20 m
respectively
and the wingspan is similar by magnitude as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DC-3
had a wingspan of 29 m meanwhile the newest model had 80 m.
Consequently
, the engines had gone through a process of development as the propeller engine of 1935 had developed into jet turbines, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the difference in speed as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DC-3
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to go up to 347 km/h
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the A380 reached the speed of 1050 km/h.

Overall
, the 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
time eras had shown how progressive
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
modern
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
has become since its early days.
However
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
features that had remained the same until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
namely
the science behind the flight of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
and the need for a pilot to maneuver the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
.
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IELTS academic The diagram displays the evolution involving an aeroplane from its early days of the first powered flight of 1903 until 2004.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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