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The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment XOor
The diagram illustrates the information about different stages of goods manufacturing process, it also depicts the feedback of consumers. To initiate the manufacturing process first consumer research the product which they have to manufacture. After the product research starts the designing of the product. Next they purchase Raw material ans manufacturing components and store in the accurate temperature. After the design and store the raw material they plan the production and product goes to the assembly for ready the product. After the all production it goes to in inspection and testing that the product produced is accurate or not. After the all process product goes in packing and then dispatch through transportation to the companies. Then companies sales the product to the consumers. When product is ready for market then manufacturer waiting for the feedback. When goods sales in the market then they research in the market for feedback and give the advertisement on television, newspaper or radio for product sale and reviews of client.
The diagram illustrates the information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
manufacturing process, it
also
depicts the feedback of consumers.

To initiate the manufacturing process
first
consumer research the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manufacture.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
the designing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Next
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
Raw material ans manufacturing components and store in the accurate temperature. After the design and store the raw material they plan the production and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
goes to the assembly for ready the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. After the all production it goes to in inspection and testing that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
produced is accurate or not.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
After
the all process
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
goes in packing and then dispatch through transportation to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
sales the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to the consumers.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is ready for market then manufacturer waiting for the feedback. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
sales in the market then they research in the market for feedback and give the advertisement on television, newspaper or radio for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
sale and reviews of client.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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