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The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. 33gX
The picture illustrates how the aluminium cans are recycled. First the used cans are collected in the collection centres because people sort out the garbage and always take the cans to the collection centres. The cans are delivered from collection centres to the factory by special truck. After delivery the cans are sorted and cleaned thoroughly. Subsequently they are shredded and compressed. Thirdly the cans are put into the special hot oven and melted in a high temperature. After this step the cans are rolled between 2, 5 and 6mm thickness depending on what on the usage. After this the rolling is used for making containers such as cokes or colas. Finally the cans are sold to the factories and people. In the UK 74% of the aluminium cans are recycled.
The picture illustrates how the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are recycled
.

First
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are collected
in the collection
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sort out the garbage and always take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
to the collection
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are delivered
from collection
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to the factory by special truck. After delivery the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are sorted
and cleaned
thoroughly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Subsequently
they
are shredded
and compressed.

Thirdly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are put
into the special hot oven and melted in a high temperature.

After this step the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are rolled
between 2, 5 and
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "6 mm"
6mm
thickness depending on what on the usage.

After this the rolling is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for making containers such as cokes or colas.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are sold
to the factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In the UK 74% of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are recycled
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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