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The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. kwEM
the bar chart provides information about how percentages of Finance, Food Processing, Manufacturing, Tourism, and oil, coal and gas share Brazil’s economy in the years, 2009, 2019 and 2029 prediction. Overall, the Finance sector experienced an upward trend in 2009, 2019 and also will 2029 while the 2009 finance sector and 2019 manufacturing sector showed a downward trend and also predicted for the downward trend in 2029 will be the manufacturing sector. The finance sector rate was about 32% in 2009, being higher than other sectors rate. However, the figure showed a gradual decrease to about 10% in the food processing sector then steady growth in manufacturing and tourism sectors, about 21% and 26%, respectively and remained steady for oil, coal and gas sector. When it came to 2019, the Finance sector had the highest, at around 36%, but it gradually decreased in the Food processing and manufacturing sectors at approximately 21% and 16%. Moreover, it rose to around 21% in the tourism sector and 31% in the oil, coal and gas sector. With the forecast for 2029, the finance sector will score the highest contribution about 41% to Brazil’s economy while Manufacturing will be hitting a low point of about 5%. The food processing sector will follow around 10% of the economy. The tourism sector will also share the same amount of contribution (about 21%) as it was in 2019. The oil, coal and gas sector will have about 25% in Brazil’s economy same as 2019.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar chart provides information about how percentages of
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Finance
,
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Food
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Processing
,
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Manufacturing
,
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Tourism
, and
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oil
, coal and
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gas
share Brazil’s
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economy
in the years, 2009, 2019 and 2029 prediction.

Overall
, the
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Finance
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sector
experienced an upward trend in 2009, 2019 and
also
will 2029 while the 2009
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finance
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sector
and 2019
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manufacturing
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sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward trend and
also
predicted for the downward trend in 2029 will be the
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manufacturing
sector.

The
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finance
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sector
rate was about 32% in 2009, being higher than other
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sectors
rate.
However
, the figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a gradual decrease to about 10% in the
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food
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processing
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sector
then steady growth in
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manufacturing
and
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tourism
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sectors
, about 21% and 26%,
respectively
and remained steady for
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oil
, coal and
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gas
sector.

When it came to 2019, the
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Finance
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sector
had the highest, at around 36%,
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but
it
gradually
decreased in the
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Food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processing
and
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manufacturing
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sectors
at approximately 21% and 16%.
Moreover
, it rose to around 21% in the
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tourism
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sector
and 31% in the
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oil
, coal and
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gas
sector.

With the forecast for 2029, the
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finance
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sector
will score the highest contribution about 41% to Brazil’s
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economy
while
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Manufacturing
will be hitting a low point of about 5%. The
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food
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processing
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sector
will follow around 10% of the
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economy
. The
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tourism
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sector
will
also
share the same amount of contribution (about 21%) as it was in 2019.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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oil
, coal and
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gas
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sector
will have about 25% in Brazil’s
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economy
same as 2019.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
247 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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