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the graph show the number of hours children spend on watching tv and computer to 2000 from to present

the graph show the number of hours children spend on watching tv and computer to 2000 from to present m3Ybq
The line graph provides information on the quantity of hours youngsters aged 10-11 used to watch TV and computers from 2000 to the present. Overall, there are 2 basic general trends: upward and fluctuation. As can be seen from the line graph, despite the lowest position in 2000, the figure for hours children wastes watching computers ranked first at the end of the period. Looking at the details, teenagers who use computers experienced a continually increasing trend in hours. Starting at a limited from 3 hours in 2000 to 22 hours at the present. In contrast, the quantity of hours a kid consumes to watch television varied over the period. Especially in the first 4 years, when it remained the same at 21 hours. Subsequently, it plummeted from 21 hours in 2003 to 15 hours in 2004. After that, the number of hours children spend watching tv has been erratic from 2004 to the present.
The line graph provides information on the quantity of
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hours
youngsters aged 10-11
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV and computers from 2000 to the present.

Overall
, there are 2 basic general trends: upward and fluctuation. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the line graph, despite the lowest position in 2000, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
children wastes watching computers ranked
first
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers experienced a
continually
increasing trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Starting at a limited from 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in 2000 to 22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at the present.
In contrast
, the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a kid consumes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television varied over the period.
Especially
in the
first
4 years, when it remained the same at 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Subsequently
, it plummeted from 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in 2003 to 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in 2004. After that, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
children spend watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
has been erratic from 2004 to the present.
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IELTS academic the graph show the number of hours children spend on watching tv and computer to 2000 from to present

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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