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The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. 3yLN
The diagram explains the process by which bricks are produced for the building industry. Overall, the production consist of seven stages, beginning with digging stages and ending up with delivery stage. First of all, clay are collected from a digger to serve as for a bricks manufacturing. After that clay is rolled in a metal grid. Then by adding sand and water clay proceed into wire cutter to change that shape. Next, bricks are fixed in a mould to change the shape of bricks. Next mould where drying in a drying oven for 24-48hrs. Following this, kiln are moderate to a heated temperature in range of 200℃-980℃. In the next stage, kilns were high to a heated temperature about the range of 870℃-1300℃ next connected to a cooling chamber where the temperature falls about 48-72hrs. After that, bricks were package in the packaging store and finally, bricks are ready to delivery to the customers.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the process by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are produced
for the building industry.

Overall
, the production consist of seven stages, beginning with digging stages and ending up with delivery stage.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, clay
are collected
from a digger to serve as for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
manufacturing.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that clay
is rolled
in a metal grid. Then by adding sand and water clay proceed into wire cutter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that shape.
Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the shape of bricks.

Next
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
where drying in a drying oven for 24-48hrs. Following this, kiln are moderate to a heated temperature in range of 200℃-980℃.

In the
next
stage, kilns were high to a heated temperature about the range of 870℃-1300℃
next
connected to a cooling chamber where the temperature falls about 48-72hrs.

After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
were package in the packaging store and
finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are ready to delivery to the customers.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
154 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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