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The diagram below shows how apple is canned. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting, making comparison where relevant

The diagram below shows how apple is canned. pen3a
The diagram depicts the process involved in the canning of apple. Generally, it is observed that the canning of apple is a linear process, and it is in several stages. it begins with the handpicking of apple to the final stage of dispatching canned apples. First of all, apples are handpicked and loaded into a big van, which transports it for washing in a washing room, after which the good ones are selected thoroughly to be stored in a cold room, afterwards the apples are weighed and the upper parts are peeled, and sliced into different bits. Furthermore, the sliced apples are canned into different containers, and sent for sealing, thereafter it is covered tighly for cooking, for some time to kill the microgranisms, after sterilization the sealed tinning is labelled boldly and sent into the storage room, after which it goes into the final stage, which is the dispatching of the canned apples.
The diagram depicts the process involved in the canning of apple.

Generally
, it
is observed
that the canning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
is a linear process, and it is in several stages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the handpicking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
to the final stage of dispatching canned apples.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
are handpicked
and loaded into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
van, which transports it for washing in a washing room, after which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ones
are selected
thoroughly
to
be stored
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
room, afterwards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
are weighed
and the upper parts
are peeled
, and sliced into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
bits.

Furthermore
, the sliced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
are canned
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
containers, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for sealing, thereafter it
is covered
Possible spelling mistake found.
tighly
for cooking, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to kill the
Possible spelling mistake found.
microgranisms
, after sterilization the sealed tinning
is labelled
boldly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
into the storage room, after which it goes into the final stage, which is the dispatching of the canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows how apple is canned.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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