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THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE STAGES IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF SIMPLE COOKING EQUIPMENT.

THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE STAGES IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF SIMPLE COOKING EQUIPMENT. lL6nX
THE PROVIDED DIAGRAM ILLUSTRATES THE DEVELOPING STAGES INVLOVED IN SIMPLE COOKING EQUIPMENT. OVERALL, THE DIAGRAMS HOW THE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN GIVEN PERIOD AND IT IS DIVIDED IN THREE MAIN STEPS. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, IN EARLISEST STAGE, THE FOOD IS COOKED UNDER ROUND SHAPED VESSEL MADE OF CLAY AND IT IS PLACED ON STONES AS A PLATFORM AND UNDERNEATH FIRE IS USED TO BE LIT. THE VESSEL IS COVERED WITH LID MADE FROM SAME MATERIAL. THIS PROCESS WAS QUITE SLOW THAN OTHER METHOD OF EQUIPMENT WHEREAS, THE CLAY OVEN IS INTRODUCED AND IT IS IMPROVED FROM EARLIER PROCESS. CLAY OVEN ARE SMALLER IN SIZE WHICH, SUPPORT TO COOK IN LESSER TIME. THE DIAGRAM FURTHER COLLATE THAT, IN FINAL STAGE, THE COOKING POT IS MANUFACTURED FROM STEEL AND IT IS COTTED IN LAYER OF CLAY FROM INNER SIDE. IN BOTTOM, THERE IS AIR VENT CREATED WHERE, AIR FLOW FOR FIRE TO BE LIT WHEREAS, IN UPPER SIDE, THERE ARE FOUR HANDLES PROVIDED FOR SUPPORTING THE POT AND GRATE FOR CHARCOAL IS PRESENT IN MIDDLE OF THE POT. FINALLY, THE ASH OF CHARCOAL IS COMES OUT FROM VENT DOOR.
THE PROVIDED DIAGRAM ILLUSTRATES THE DEVELOPING STAGES
Possible spelling mistake found.
INVLOVED
IN SIMPLE COOKING EQUIPMENT.

OVERALL
, THE DIAGRAMS HOW THE SIGNIFICANT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGES
IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD AND IT
IS DIVIDED
IN THREE MAIN STEPS.

IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
EARLISEST
STAGE, THE FOOD
IS COOKED
UNDER ROUND SHAPED VESSEL MADE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CLAY
AND IT
IS PLACED
ON STONES AS A PLATFORM AND UNDERNEATH FIRE IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
TO BE LIT. THE VESSEL
IS COVERED
WITH LID MADE FROM SAME MATERIAL. THIS PROCESS WAS QUITE
Use "slower" to make a comparison with this adjective.
SLOW
THAN OTHER METHOD OF EQUIPMENT WHEREAS, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CLAY
OVEN
IS INTRODUCED
AND IT IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVED
FROM EARLIER PROCESS.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CLAY
OVEN ARE
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
SMALLER IN SIZE
WHICH, SUPPORT TO COOK IN LESSER TIME.

THE DIAGRAM
FURTHER
COLLATE THAT, IN FINAL STAGE, THE COOKING POT
IS MANUFACTURED
FROM STEEL AND IT IS
Possible spelling mistake found.
COTTED
IN LAYER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CLAY
FROM INNER SIDE. IN BOTTOM, THERE IS AIR VENT CREATED WHERE, AIR FLOW FOR FIRE TO BE LIT WHEREAS, IN UPPER SIDE, THERE ARE FOUR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HANDLES
PROVIDED FOR SUPPORTING THE POT AND GRATE FOR CHARCOAL IS PRESENT IN MIDDLE OF THE POT.
FINALLY
, THE ASH OF CHARCOAL IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMES
OUT FROM VENT DOOR.

IELTS academic THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE STAGES IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF SIMPLE COOKING EQUIPMENT.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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