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the diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

the diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. YL2qm
The flowcharts illustrate how cement is produced, and how concrete is made by cement. Overall, it is clear that six stages are involved in cement production, beginning with the accumulation of limestone and clay and ending with the cement bags. However, concrete is produced in one step, commencing with the accumulation of certain products and ending with the production of concrete in a concrete mixer. However, limestone and clay are needed in cement production while cement, water, sand, and gravel are needed in concrete production. In addition, these are man-made and linear processes. To begin with the cement production, limestone and clay are gathered in a crusher. Next, the powder is produced sent to the mixer. Then, the material is sent to the rotating heater before it is heated. Following this, the mixture is ground with the help of a grinder. Finally, the cement is packed in the bags which will later use in concrete production. Turning to concrete production, 15% cement, 10% water, 25% sand, and 50% gravel are added into a concrete mixer in order to produce concrete.
The flowcharts illustrate how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is produced
, and how concrete
is made
by cement.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that six stages
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, beginning with the accumulation of limestone and clay and ending with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
bags.
However
, concrete
is produced
in one step, commencing with the accumulation of certain products and ending with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of concrete in a concrete mixer.
However
, limestone and clay
are needed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, water, sand, and gravel
are needed
in concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
.
In addition
, these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made and linear processes.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, limestone and clay
are gathered
in a crusher.
Next
, the powder
is produced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the mixer. Then, the material is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the rotating heater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
is heated
. Following this, the mixture
is ground
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of a grinder.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is packed
in the bags which will later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in concrete production.

Turning to concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 10% water, 25% sand, and 50% gravel are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into a concrete mixer in order to produce concrete.
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IELTS academic the diagram below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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