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The diagram below provides information about generating electricity from wave power.

The diagram below provides information about generating electricity from wave power. rKEyo
The figure illustrates data of producing electrical energy from sea waves and, explains parts of the construction of doing that. The initial impression from the figure is that the movement of sea waves in both directions makes electricity; In addition, except for the turbine, all parts of the machine remain steady during the energy-producing process. First of all, the process contains two key parts which are happening back and forth; pictures A and B explain these two processes. In the 'A' part, first, the sea waves come to the machine which contains a major ramp so, when the water comes it has to climb the inclined plane then, it tries to hit the cliff; during of water moving by the waves energy, the machine has a roof with a chamber which makes a closed atmosphere, then the air of under it has no place to go when water comes; So, it has to go out by the column. The turbine is not moving clockwise unless the air is gone out from the column. An important fact in picture B is that when the wave comes back to the sea, the air pour into the machine; After the air being pulled by the machine the turbine is ready to be turned on clockwise again, therefore, when fluid comes and goes the machine produce electricity by the movement of the turbine.
The figure illustrates data of producing electrical energy from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waves
and,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the construction of doing that.

The initial impression from the figure is that the movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
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waves
in both directions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
electricity;
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the
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turbine
, all
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parts
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
remain steady during the energy-producing process.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the process contains two key
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parts
which are happening back and forth; pictures A and B
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
these two processes.

In the 'A'
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part
,
first
, the
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sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
come
to the
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machine
which contains a major ramp
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, when the water
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comes
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
climb the inclined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
then, it tries to hit the cliff; during of water moving by the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "waves'" or "wave's"?
waves
energy, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
has a roof with a chamber which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a closed atmosphere, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
of under it has no place to go when water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go out by the column. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turbine
is not moving clockwise unless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
is gone
out from the column.

An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fact in picture B is that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pour into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
; After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
being pulled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turbine
is ready to
be turned
on clockwise again,
therefore
, when fluid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
and goes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
produce electricity by the movement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turbine
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below provides information about generating electricity from wave power.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
229 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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