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value of country's exports across different categories during 2015 and 2016

value of country's exports across different categories during 2015 and 2016 ELe0x
The bar chart depicts the value of country's exports across different categories during 2015 and 2016. Furthermore, the table presents percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 when compared with 2015. Overall there is an increase in export income from 2015 to 2016 across four categories, while a decrease in income is observed for gems and jewelry. Additionally, there is a significant increase in the income of textiles. Moreover, textiles account for the highest increase during 2015 and 2016, while a least increase is observed for agricultural products. To start with a significant increase in income is seen for engineered goods 8. 5% and textiles 15. 24%. Petroleum product's income approximately increased from 61 billion dollar to 62 billion dollars. Furthermore, percentage change in textiles products is 5 times that of petroleum products and close to 3 times that of Gems and jewelry. Unlike incomes of other categories, agricultural product's income remained constant with a minute change of 0. 81%. A decrease of approximately 3 billion dollars in income is observed for gems and jewelry.
The bar chart depicts the value of country's exports across
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different
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categories
during 2015 and 2016.
Furthermore
, the table presents percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in each
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category
of exports in 2016 when compared with 2015.

Overall
there is an
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increase
in export
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income
from 2015 to 2016 across four
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categories
, while a decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is observed
for gems and jewelry.
Additionally
, there is a significant
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increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of
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textiles
.
Moreover
,
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textiles
account for the highest
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increase
during 2015 and 2016, while
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a
least
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increase
is observed
for agricultural products.

To
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start
with a significant
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increase
in
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income
is
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seen
for engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
8. 5% and
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textiles
15. 24%. Petroleum product's
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income
approximately increased from 61 billion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
to 62 billion dollars.
Furthermore
, percentage
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change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
textiles
products is 5 times that of petroleum products and close to 3 times that of Gems and jewelry.

Unlike
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incomes
of other
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categories
, agricultural product's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
remained constant with a minute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of 0. 81%. A decrease of approximately 3 billion dollars in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is observed
for gems and jewelry.
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IELTS academic value of country's exports across different categories during 2015 and 2016

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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