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The diagram below compares the scores of boys and girls of different ages on math and reading tests

The diagram below compares the scores of boys and girls of different ages on math and reading tests nEOYR
The bar chart shows comparation of math and reading marks of male and female students from three age groups. Overall, boys scored higher in math while girls performed better in reading test. Between the two subjects, for all three age groups, both boys and girls scored better results in math than reading test. Moreover, math test scores of 9 years old girls were realtively the same with their boy counterparts. However, boys got slightly higher marks than girls for their math exam in age 13 and 17 categories. Nevertheless, math scores were gradually rose for both male and female students as the age group progressed. In contrary with math exam result, girls consistently got slightly higher reading marks compared to boys for age group 9, 13, and 17. Just like their math scores, reading test marks of all age groups studied increased according to their age with 17 years old boys and girls scored the highest marks.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
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comparation
of
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math
and
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reading
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marks
of male and female students from three
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age
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groups
.
Overall
,
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boys
scored higher in
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math
while
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girls
performed better in
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reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.

Between the two subjects, for all three
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age
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groups
, both
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boys
and
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girls
scored better results in
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math
than
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reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
Moreover
,
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math
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
scores of 9 years
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old
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girls
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
realtively
the same with their
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boy
counterparts.
However
,
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boys
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got
slightly
higher
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marks
than
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girls
for their
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math
exam in
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age
13 and 17 categories.
Nevertheless
,
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math
scores were
gradually
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rose
for both male and female students as the
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age
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group
progressed.

In contrary with
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math
exam result,
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girls
consistently
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got
slightly
higher
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reading
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marks
compared to
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boys
for
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age
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group
9, 13, and 17.
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Just
like their
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math
scores,
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reading
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test
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marks
of all
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age
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groups
studied increased according to their
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age
with 17 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
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girls
scored the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marks
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below compares the scores of boys and girls of different ages on math and reading tests

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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