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the development of agricultural technology

the development of agricultural technology 26wW6
In the 20th century, the development of agricultural technology was very advanced. but there are still many people in other countries who experience hunger, especially in poor countries. Indonesia is an agricultural country, but still imports food from other countries. This is due to sevaral factor. One of the bigest factor that affect agricultural is extreme weather that often occurs. The rain that occurs continuosly will cause floading so that agricultural will be damaged. On the other side, drought is a serious problerm in food production. The dry land is almost imposible to grow the palnt. The dry soil also does not have enough nutrients for plants to grow. Another factor is expensive agriculture equipment. The farmer don’t have money to buy the modern farmer tolls. They use the traditonal equipment to farming. Besides that, they also buy fertilizer to plant and also buy the pesticide to destroy pests. Finally, the another problem is farmer is less desirable because it doesn't make much money and life is less secure. No one aspire to be a farmer they choose to become doctors, teachers, staff managers in companies and others. So that the number of farmers decreases sharply and affects agricultural yields.
In the 20th century, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
technology was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advanced.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who experience hunger,
especially
in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Indonesia is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
imports food from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sevaral
factor.

One of the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "biggest", the superlative form of the adjective 'big'?
bigest
factor that affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
is extreme weather that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
occurs. The rain that occurs
Possible spelling mistake found.
continuosly
will cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
floading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
will
be damaged
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, drought is a serious
Possible spelling mistake found.
problerm
in food production. The dry land is almost
Possible spelling mistake found.
imposible
to grow the
Possible spelling mistake found.
palnt
. The dry soil
also
does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
nutrients for plants to grow.

Another factor is expensive agriculture equipment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
You should probably use "does".
don
’t have money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
tolls. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
traditonal
equipment to farming.
Besides
that, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
fertilizer to plant and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the pesticide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
pests.

Finally
, the another problem is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
is less desirable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much money and life is less secure. No one aspire to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
they choose to become doctors, teachers, staff managers in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
decreases
sharply
and affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
yields.
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IELTS academic the development of agricultural technology

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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