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The data in the line chart show the number of elderly people who participated in these types of leisure activities in Europe between 1980 and 2010.

The data in the line chart show the number of elderly people who participated in these types of leisure activities in Europe between 1980 and 2010. 0EYK3
The data in the line chart show the number of elderly people who participated in these types of leisure activities in Europe between 1980 and 2010. As a whole, we can see that all activities generally have an upward trend amongst the elderly, while hiking increases steadily throughout the years. In 1980, the percentage of hikers started at around 20%, followed by reading (30%) and surfing the internet (5%). To be more specific, hiking is referred to as constant growth over a 30-year period with 20% of 20 years and a peak at 80% in 2010. In addition, fluctuations occurred in the first twenty years, and after that, they increased significantly with 60% at the end of the period. Notably, the demands of elderly people on surfing the internet made up 15% of the 2000 and this number was recorded at 50% in 2010. Specifically, the figure of people spending time joining in playing sports is the most popular, with 70% in their free time before starting the period of a slight decline at 65% in 2010. Likewise, going to the theatre had a dramatic drop from 50% to 30% before rising back to 45% in total.
The data in the line chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the number of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who participated in these types of leisure activities in Europe between 1980 and 2010.

As a whole, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that all activities
generally
have an upward trend amongst the elderly, while hiking increases
steadily
throughout the years. In 1980, the percentage of hikers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at around 20%, followed by reading (30%) and surfing the internet (5%). To be more specific, hiking
is referred
to as constant growth over a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
30-year
period with 20% of 20 years and a peak at 80% in 2010.
In addition
, fluctuations occurred in the
first
twenty years, and after that, they increased
significantly
with 60% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
Notably
, the demands of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on surfing the internet made up 15% of the 2000 and this number
was recorded
at 50% in 2010.

Specifically
, the figure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spending time joining in playing sports is the most popular, with 70% in their free time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting the period of a slight decline at 65% in 2010.
Likewise
, going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
had a dramatic drop from 50% to 30%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rising back to 45% in total.

IELTS academic The data in the line chart show the number of elderly people who participated in these types of leisure activities in Europe between 1980 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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