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The consumption of 3 different spreads between 1981 and 2007

The consumption of 3 different spreads between 1981 and 2007 ABnL3
The given line graph is the illustration of 3 different spreads consumed around the world between the years 1981 and 2007. The data was collected based on a yearly basis with a 5-year difference, and compared between butter, margarine and low fat and reduced spreads. To summarize this, it is clear that the consumption of all 3 spreads had drastic upward and downward movements. However, it is noticeable that butter suffered the most among the 3 spreads. During 1981, about 140 grams of butter was consumed, which in turn made a massive drop to almost 50 grams in 2007. Regarding margarine, it started stable with the consumption of almost 90 grams in 1981. The margarine consumption then peaked at 100 grams between 1991 and 1996, only to suffer a huge drop to 40 grams in 2007. Finally, according to the line graphs, low fat and reduced spreads had the most success over the years. Starting at only 10 grams in 1996, the consumption of low fats and reduced spreads topped at almost 90 grams in 2001, which then unfortunately fell to 70 grams in 2007.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph is the illustration of 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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spreads
consumed around the world between the years 1981 and 2007. The data
was collected
based on a yearly basis with a 5-year difference, and compared between butter, margarine and low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
spreads.

To summarize
this, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of all 3
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spreads
had drastic upward and downward movements.
However
, it is noticeable that butter suffered the most among the 3
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spreads
. During 1981, about 140
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
of butter
was consumed
, which in turn made a massive drop to almost 50
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grams
in 2007.

Regarding margarine, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
stable with the
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consumption
of almost 90
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grams
in 1981. The margarine
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consumption
then peaked at 100
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grams
between 1991 and 1996,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to suffer a huge drop to 40
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grams
in 2007.

Finally
, according to the line graphs, low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
had the most success over the years. Starting at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10
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grams
in 1996, the
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consumption
of low fats and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
topped at almost 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2001, which then unfortunately fell to 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.
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IELTS academic The consumption of 3 different spreads between 1981 and 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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