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The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period. N0qd
The pie charts represent variation in tourism from 1960 to 2010 in Australia and Germany. As per data, In the year 1960 European tourists accounts for 53 percent of the total tourism in Australia. However, Britain and the USA had 25 percent and 12 percent of tourism respectively. A small proportion was taken by Asian tourism i. e. 10 percent. In contrast, over the span of 50 years Asian tourism showed a dramatic increase in the percentage of tourism i. e 63 percent. While other regions showed nominal fluctuations. On the other hand, In 1960 in Germany, 45 percent of tourism was covered by the European public and the USA and Britain had 25% and 20% of total tourism. However, Asian tourism showed a similar interest of 10% in Germany as well. Furthermore, In 2010 European tourists showed less interest than before. While other territories like the USA and Asia had shown an increase in tourism by 29% and 25% respectively. Overall, These pie charts indicate that Asian tourism increases over the time span while other territories showed minimal fluctuations in both countries.
The pie charts represent variation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
from 1960 to 2010 in Australia and Germany.

As per data, In the year 1960 European tourists accounts for 53
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in Australia.
However
, Britain and the USA had 25
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percent
and 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
respectively
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion
was taken
by Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
10
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percent
.
In contrast
, over the span of 50 years Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a dramatic increase in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
i. e 63
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percent
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
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other
regions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
nominal fluctuations.

On the
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other
hand, In 1960 in Germany, 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
was covered
by the European public and the USA and Britain had 25% and 20% of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
However
, Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
a similar interest of 10% in Germany
as well
.
Furthermore
, In 2010 European tourists
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showed
less interest than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
territories like the USA and Asia had shown an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
by 29% and 25%
respectively
.

Overall
, These pie charts indicate that Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
increases over the time span while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
territories
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
showed
minimal fluctuations in both countries.

IELTS academic The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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