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The charts illustrate the quantity of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2010 and 2020 with projected sales for 2030

The charts illustrate the quantity of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2010 and 2020 with projected sales for 2030 0aW6n
The charts illustrate the quantity of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2010 and 2020 with projected sales for 2030 It is clear that country A, country B and country C witnessed slight downward trend meanwhile there was a gradual upward trend of the country D and country E between 2010 and 2030. The proportion of magazines sold in country B was the highest that of magazines sold in country E was the lowest In 2010, the rate of country B made up 48, ranked the first followed by country A, country C, country D and country E with 47, 36, 19, and 8 respectively. The quantity of country B was three fold as high as the data of country D. The proportion of country A accounted for 47 ranked the second meanwhile that of the country C had 35 five fold as well as the country E held 7 magazines. The number of magazines sold in five country experienced significant decline in 2020 and 2030. In 2020 the proportion of country B saw gradual going down to 45 magazines and there was a minimal reduction of the rate of country C by 35 magazines. Besides the quantity of country A decreased slightly of 42 magazines. In contract, there was a considerable rising of the proportion of country D and the data of country E witnessed gradual going up in the year. In 2030, the proportion of country B made up 43 magazines the highest figure followed by the country A, country C, country D and country E with 38 magazines, 31 magazines, 21 magazines and 9 magazines respectively. .
The charts illustrate the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
sold per person in five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in 2010 and 2020 with projected sales for 2030

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
A,
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country
B and
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country
C witnessed slight downward trend meanwhile there was a gradual upward trend of the
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country
D and
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country
E between 2010 and 2030. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
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magazines
sold in
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country
B was the highest that of
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magazines
sold in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
E was the lowest

In 2010, the rate of
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country
B made up 48, ranked the
first
followed by
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country
A,
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country
C,
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country
D and
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country
E with 47, 36, 19, and 8
respectively
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
quantity of
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country
B was
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
three fold
as high as the data of
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country
D. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
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country
A accounted for 47 ranked the second meanwhile that of the
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country
C had 35 five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'fold' seems to be countable, so consider using: "folds".
fold
as well
as the
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country
E held 7 magazines.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
number of
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magazines
sold in five
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country
experienced significant decline in 2020 and 2030. In 2020 the
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proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
B
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
gradual going down to 45
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magazines
and there was a minimal reduction of the rate of
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country
C by 35
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magazines
.
Besides
the quantity of
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country
A decreased
slightly
of 42
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magazines
. In contract, there was a considerable rising of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
D and the data of
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country
E witnessed gradual going up in the year. In 2030, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
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country
B made up 43
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magazines
the highest figure followed by the
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country
A,
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country
C,
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country
D and
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country
E with 38
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magazines
, 31
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magazines
, 21
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magazines
and 9
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magazines
respectively
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS academic The charts illustrate the quantity of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2010 and 2020 with projected sales for 2030

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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