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The charts illustrate the careers of graduate and postgraduate students in the UK after finishing university in 2008.

The charts illustrate the careers of graduate and postgraduate students in the UK after finishing university in 2008. wMmdd
The charts illustrate the careers of graduate and postgraduate students in the UK after finishing university in 2008. Looking from an overall perspective, it is clearly shown that the highest figure was further study in both graduate and postgraduate students, while the lowest in number was voluntary work. A quick glance at the data suggests that the majority of UK graduates decided to study further with up to 29, 665 of them, making it the dominant figure in the chart. The option that seems to also attracted the graduates just behind further studying was part-time work. It was followed by unemployment, being the third choices for approximately 16, 000 graduate students. Finally, voluntary work being the lowest among the rest in the chart with only around 3500 graduates. On the other hand, the chart for postgraduates also saw the same trends as the graduates. A noticeable different was the the part-time work can be seen having almost as high as the further study figure, with 2, 535 and 2, 725, respectively. Unemployment and voluntary work was still the third and fourth place with approximately ten thousands times when compares to the statistic of UK graduates.
The
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charts
illustrate the careers of
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graduate
and postgraduate students in the UK after finishing university in 2008.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
clearly
shown that the highest figure was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
study in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and postgraduate students, while the
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
lowest in number
was voluntary work.

A quick glance at the data suggests that the majority of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
decided to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
with up to 29, 665 of them, making it the dominant figure in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
. The option that seems to
also
attracted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
studying was part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It
was followed
by unemployment, being the third choices for approximately 16, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
students.
Finally
, voluntary
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work
being the lowest among the rest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
around 3500 graduates.

On the other hand
, the
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chart
for postgraduates
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the same trends as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
. A noticeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
was
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
having almost as high as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
study figure, with 2, 535 and 2, 725,
respectively
. Unemployment and voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
was
still
the third and fourth place with approximately ten thousands times when compares to the statistic of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
.
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IELTS academic The charts illustrate the careers of graduate and postgraduate students in the UK after finishing university in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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