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The charts give information about music sales in a US music store in 1997 and 2017 pie chart

The charts give information about music sales in a US music store in 1997 and 2017 pie chart XnjXr
The given pie chart provides information about the proportion of buying music like rock, pop, r&b, and others in a US music store though 20 years from 1997 to 2017. It clear that the numer of music sales had changed a lots. In terms of the most significant feature of the chart, the largest percentage of music sale in 1997 was pop at about a half, but it moved down to just under a quarter. In addition, the second-highest share of music sales in 1997 was rock music with almost a quarter. However, it also dropped to just over 12% which is only half the number of records sold in 1997. While genres of music like pop and rock were decline, others genre were increased though the time. In 1997 Latin was in top 3 of selling music, even so in 2017 it rose from just over tenth to almost quarter. Besides, R&B wasn’t in the top 3 in 1997, but it was the most popular music that people in the US listen to in 2017 at about over a third. Lastly, other also grow up from over one in twenty in 1997 to tenth in 2017. All in all, R&B had an increasing in number most, and pop had moved down to a tiny percentage. Other genre of music also changed much by the time.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart provides information about the proportion of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
like rock, pop,
Possible spelling mistake found.
r&b
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
in a US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
store though 20 years from 1997 to 2017. It
Did you mean "clears"?
clear
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
numer
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
sales had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
.

In terms of the most significant feature of the chart, the largest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
sale in 1997 was pop at about a half,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
down to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under a quarter.
In addition
, the second-highest share of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
sales in 1997 was rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with almost a quarter.
However
, it
also
dropped to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
12% which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half the number of records sold in 1997.

While genres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
like pop and rock were decline, others genre
were increased
though the time. In 1997 Latin was in top 3 of selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in 2017 it rose from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
tenth to almost quarter.
Besides
, R&B wasn’t in the top 3 in 1997,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the US listen to in 2017 at about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a third.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
also
grow up from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
one in twenty in 1997 to tenth in 2017.

All in all, R&B had an increasing in number most, and pop had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
down to a tiny percentage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
much by the time.
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IELTS academic The charts give information about music sales in a US music store in 1997 and 2017 pie chart

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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